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THE LIFETIME RECEIPT
REGISTER 03 · CASHIER: TIME
· ALL SALES FINAL

Warranty plan (life expectancy)
The register needs your age. It already knows everything else.
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Fine print. Estimates, not prophecy: averages stitched from public life-expectancy and consumption data (3 meals & ~5h of screen time a day, 1.5 coffees, a phone every 3 years, a car every 8 until 78, haircuts every 6 weeks, 12 nights of vacation and 5 finished books a year, working years to 65, parents' expectancy 85). Your mileage will vary — that is the point. Everything is computed in your browser; nothing you type is stored or sent anywhere. Not medical, financial, or existential advice.